HOW 2 TAKE ABSOLUTELY AWESUM PHOTOS

The basics 1: equipment

Sum people will tell u that a small "point and shoot" cam is good 4 wot u r trying 2 do. This is of course, absolutely rubbish. You NEED a digital SLR 2 be an awesum photographer. U may have heard mention of brands such as Olympus and Nikon here, but don't buy them. Olympuses are used by old and boring farts, and Nikons are used by people who can't afford a proper camera. U should make sure that u buy a CANON DIGITAL REBEL series camera. Every digital photo includes information about what make of camera took it, so if you want your photography 2 be taken srsly, u have 2 buy the Canon. This will instantly make your photos 33.33333333333333333% more awesum. Ya rly!

The basics 2: holding the camera

The 1st thing u shd learn b4 attempting any serious photography is how 2 hold ur camera proper. Digital SLRs can be quite heavy, so make sure that u do lots of "research" and wrist exercises before attempting 2 take awesum photos. The camera should be held in ur left hand, with your finger over the "take photo" button. ur left arm should be fully extended with the lens pointing towards u. Some people will tell u that u should use the viewfinder!!!1 This is actually elitist snobbery from ppl that think they know what they r doing and like 2 take borin photos of bridges and sunsets and sometimes trains.

If ur photo looks like these, then U R DOIN IT WRONG!!1!. If it looks like the 1st one, then you have the right idea, but u need 2 turn the camera around. If it looks like the 2nd, then either your arms are too short for ur camera, or u r tryin 2 use the viewfinder wrong. U shouldn't be usin the viewfinder anyway, but the big round thing is actually the lens, wot the camera looks out of.

The basics 3: composition

u've probably heard people talk about "the rule of thirds" in photography. dis rule is actually quite simple, and very effective if used correctly. The rule of thirds sez that no more than one third of ur face should be missing from the photo. As long as u stick 2 this rule, your photos will be truly awesum.

The basics 4: exposure

u may also have heard ppl tlk about the impotance of correct exposure. This is a load of blx. With the many powerful image editing softwares available 2 u on the internets these days, it doesn't really matter if ur picture is too bright or too dark. The software will fix this for you neway. If for some reason, it can't, u can just claim ur photo is "moody" neway and they just don't understand ur art.

So hopefully, if u've followed the above advice, u should have a fairly awesum shot already. Here's one I made earlier :

As u can c, it's fairly awesum already, but we can do a lot more 2 it. u probably saw earlier that I mentioned that exposure was unimportant and can be fixed magically in software. Well if u are using flickr, here is how 2 get ur pictures right, first time, every time.

Using the flickr editing pictures tool, u should click on "exposure". From here, there is a slider that lets you adjust the contrast. Slide this up 2 100%. Hey presto, perfect pictures every time!

But we're not done yet. Whilst ur photo might be the height of awesumness, it doesn't really evoke any feelings in people. So u need 2 tell them how u are feeling. You can add text and other images 2 your picture 2 decorate it, which will help ur viewers understand exactly how they should be feeling. Here's a further example

As you can see, I was feeling lazy, so I only wrote "text on a picture" on mine. However, u should be sure that ur text dictates your mood 2 the viewer. Words like "dark" and "soul" can b useful here.

Advanced Techniques

Here r 2 other techniques u can try once u r satisfied with the basic results.

The first is what is called "lol. cats!". This technique was named after the fact that cats are funny. Fact. To use this technique, u must have an excellent command of the English language, which is way beyond this lesson. However, here is an example of the "lol. cats!" style

The other is 2 create fake magazine covers, or motivational posters. There are tools on the interweb that can help you with these, but as these techniques are only for seasoned pros, I won't provide links 2 them here. If you are truly a master of your canon digital camera, u will know where 2 find them.

Well, I hope this has helped improve your photography, and I look forward to seeing all ur masterpieces on myspace.

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